


Put the Ace in SpAce

by Shadowknight429



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alex doesnt understand, Asexual Character, Asexuality, F/F, Lena Luthor Finds Out Kara Danvers is Supergirl, Maggie is cool about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2020-01-11 00:47:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18419372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowknight429/pseuds/Shadowknight429
Summary: Kara loves Lena, there's not doubt about it, however she having a hard time showing it. Lucky Lena is understanding and helps her though it.





	Put the Ace in SpAce

**Author's Note:**

> Something I had in my head for a while so I wrote it down.

Kara loves the concept of love.

She loved to watch her parents, before dinner, before bedtime, anytime they though she wasn’t watching. They would just be together, working together was Kara’s favorite. They would be working on a big case, having info-crystals scattered around the table, they would rub their eyes at the same time, passing their drinks back and forth without a word, coming up with the same conclusion at the same time, and shouting out the answers in sync.

Coming to Earth she was glad to see love was not just a Kryptonian thing. Sneaking down stairs after bedtime to watch Jeremiah and Eliza. They liked to watch late night movies, Alex called them Hallmark snooze fests. They shared popcorn, Jeremiah would put his arm around Eliza, and she would snuggle up to him. They had a weird thing that whenever the couple on screen would kiss, they would kiss. Sometimes on the cheek, sometimes on the lips.

But the T.V shows Alex showed her would always have a different way to show love. The characters would always say they loved each-other, but then didn’t do the things Kara was used to. Sure, they kissed, but they didn’t hold each-other, they didn’t work together. They would ‘make out’ which to Kara looked like an aggressive way to kiss, not the soft and loving way she had seen before.

“You know it’s like foreplay.” Alex answered, after Kara asked why ‘making out’ looked so rough.

“For play? Play for what?” Kara asked sitting on Alex’s bed as they watch a couple on T.V almost having sex on screen.

“No, not play, Foreplay it’s like being kinky.” Alex said gesturing to the T.V, where the couple were making their way to the bed.

Kara raised her eye brow. “Kinky?” she asked trying to figure out what that word meant.

Alex sighed, Kara was literally form a different planet of course she won’t know some stuff. “Like for sex, the stuff we learned in heath class.”

“How does the ‘making out’ fit into it?” Kara asked, tilting her head trying to follow what the couple on T.V where doing.

“Well sometimes, actually most of the times, making out leads to sex.” Alex said, her face turning red.

“That looks painful.” Kara said looking at the screen, the couple had gotten on the bed and where naked, the man looked like he was grabbing the woman too hard.

“Some people like it hard.” Alex answered.

Kara had more questions, but she could tell Alex was getting tired of her talking.

The more Kara saw about it the more she understood relationships a little better, and she loved some of the aspects about it. The whole courting really got her attention.

A kid from their school had a crush on Alex and was doing everything in his power to get her attention. Putting notes in her locker, delivering flowers to the house, and even buying her jewelry form the mall. He went out of his way just to get Alex’s attention.

But the older Kara got the more she didn’t like it. After the whole courting there was sex, something that wasn’t on Krypton.

In high-school there was a football player that like Kara, he made that clear. He was a little rude about it. But Kara remembered all the movies she and Alex watch where the nerdy girl started dating the star football player, and she thought it would be like that, it was not like that. He treated her like an accessory not a girlfriend. One night he told her to come over to his house because his parents weren’t home. They started making out and Kara started to get the idea of the making out thing. He was on top of her on his bed, Kara understood some of it now. He was strong and if she was another girl he probably would have left a bruise, but Kara wasn’t any other girl. She loved it, she could feel it, she could feel something. And then everything went wrong. His hands started roaming around, down to her crouch. She didn’t like that, she pushed his hands back up to where she wanted them, but he kept moving them back down. Finally, she had enough and stopping him. He ended up kicking her out and calling her a tease.

Later there was a guy that liked Kara, his name was Andrew. He was nice, he courted her with movie nights and pizza lunches. But there was one night where she had gone back to his apartment, they were watching whatever movie was on. Kara liked it, it was nice his arm was around her shoulder holding her close. But then his hand started wondering. Kara stopped him before his hand reached her crouch, she didn’t want what happened before to happen again. He smiled and said he understood but the next day he was gone, and never called her again.

It became a pattern, a guy would like her, she would start liking them back, they would get close, and then one night they would get to handsy, she would stop it, and they would leave. Every time Kara would say to herself.

_This time is different._

_This time I love him._

_This time I can do it._

_This time…_

_This time…_

But every time the guy started something, she would stop it and every time he would leave.

_It wasn’t right._

_I didn’t love him._

_I couldn’t do it_

_I couldn’t…_

* * *

That’s what she thought until Lena came into her life. Lena became her everything. She would stop by Kara’s work and give her donuts whenever she had a difficult day. Every game night they would be partners. And she loved to bring Lena lunch when she forgot.

When Alex came out to her, Kara realized girls could love girls on earth, she never knew that before. On Krypton people loved whoever they wanted but coming to a new world Kara knew she had to give up the things she had known there to live in this new world. Alex started dating Maggie and she was happy.

So, Kara threw all cation to the wind. She was in Lena’s office late at night, Lena was working later. When Lena finished her work, Kara was going to walk her home, Lena had already sent her diver home for the night. Kara had seen Alex just go for it, so that’s what she did.

Her hands cupped Lena’s cheeks and she pulled her close, their lips connected.

Kara’s racing heart could only be matched by Lena’s. Kara broke the kiss, backing up only slightly giving Lena the chance to ether run away or get closer. Lena chose the latter. Grabbing Kara’s shirt by the collar and pulling her as close as she could.

Kara couldn’t help but smile into the kiss. She didn’t know if Lena liked her like that. She didn’t even know if Lena like girls.

“Wow.” Kara said breathlessly as they pulled away.

“Wow, yourself.” Lena said smiling back at her.

“Was that good?” Kara asked fidgeting with her hands, hanging her head down just in case Lena didn’t like it.

Lena laughed. “Kara. That was amazing.”

Kara dropped her hands and slowly reaching to hold Lena’s hand but stopped short, waiting for Lena to make the next move. “I just didn’t want to disappoint you.”

Lena smiled and grabbing Kara’s hand. “You could never disappoint me.”

They were together, it was pure love for Kara. They would go on dates. They held each other when they watched movies. Lena would come over to her apartment just to be near her, and Kara would do the same.

Kissing was soft. Kara was used to seeing soft kisses on T.V but all the guys she had been with where never soft, they liked her maybe even they loved her, but they were never soft like this with her.

Lena was the love Kara was looking for. She was the love Kara wanted. The love Kara needed. But there was always that lingering thought.

It happened after a late night movie. Kara had her arm around Lena’s shoulder, as the movie crests rolled Lena made her move. Kara reached to turn off the T.V but Lena leaned up to kiss her. She was used to Lena sneaking kisses, but every kiss from Lena felt new and fresh to Kara. Kara turned away and blushed, but Lena didn’t let her slip away, her hands reached up to cup Kara’s cheek and pulled her into a deeper kiss.

“Oh, wow.” Kara said muttered into the kiss.

Lena only responded by pulling her tighter into the kiss. Slowly Lena put more pressure moving Kara, so she was lying down on the couch. Climbing onto of her, Lena used her legs to push apart Kara’s. Kara reached to stop her but her hands where shacking. One more “no” could ruin what she has with Lena. _Thankfully_ Lena stopped herself.

“I’m sorry.” She said getting off Kara. “I must have had too much wine.”

Kara took her out. “No, its fine, it was just so sudden.” Kara said smiling at Lena.

Lena smiled back at Kara. “I’m glad I didn’t over step.”

Kara’s face went red. “Yeah, no, your fine. I...I liked it.” She lied.

“Oh, good okay. That’s good.” Lena said worried that she had over stepped and Kara didn’t want to see her again. “I think I’m going to call it a night. Don’t worry I’ll call my driver.” She said getting off the couch and heading for the door.

“Wait!” Kara called out. “I mean… will I see you tomorrow?” Kara asked.

Lena could tell Kara thought it was her fault. “Yes, tomorrow for lunch, and donuts.” She smiled as she kissed her palm and blow it at Kara. Kara hid her face with a nearby pillow.

To Kara surprise Lena kept her word. It wasn’t that Kara didn’t trust Lena it was a pattern she knew all too well. Once she said “no” they would leave. Maybe Lena was truly different. Or maybe it was Kara’s fault, how could she say that she loved Lena if Lena didn’t know who she was.

The day after Kara didn’t waist anytime, she went over to L-Corp. she texted Lena to meet her on the roof. The more she thought about it the more she realized she had only came out to one other person, Winn, so she didn’t have a lot of practice.

Lena was there in no time, she thought the text was urgent and she needed to be there right away.

Kara just smiled at her. “Lena, I love you.” She said holding out her arms.

Lena smiled hastily, she didn’t like that Kara was so close to the edge.

“I love you, and I will shout it to the world and all the worlds out there. But I have to tell you something about me.” Kara said smiling.

“Kara darling, I would love to hear it but please step away from the edge.” Lean said reaching out to grab Kara’s hand.

Kara shook her head. “You know I’ve never been good with words, so I need to show you instead.” She said as she leaned back and let gravity take her.

“Kara!” Lena shouted running and jumping after her.

Lena didn’t know what she was doing, Kara had just jumped off her building and now she was falling right after her, only she wasn’t falling. Her feet where not on the ground, yet she didn’t feel the rush of wind of falling.

“What are you doing?” Kara’s voice pulled her back into reality. “I’m the one who can fly.” She said. It was than Lena realized Kara was holding her tight, one hand around her back pressing her close, and the other cradling her head.

“K…Kara?” Lena asked as Kara gently set her back on the roof. “You’re her… You’re Supergirl.” She said amazed.

“I couldn’t keep it from you anymore I needed to tell you.” Kara said fixing Lena’s hair that was a little messed up from the wind.

“I love you.” Lena said pulling Kara into a kiss. Maybe it was because she thought she had almost lost Kara, maybe it was the adrenaline rush of jumping off a roof. She didn’t care she just need to be close to Kara.

Their night started becoming more of a casual thing. Most nights they would just talk, cuddle and be together. But then there would be the nights Lena wanted more and ever “no” Kara said she was sure Lena would leave her, but again and again not only did Lena take the blame for going too far but she also met Kara for lunch almost as if an apology.

The more it happened the more Kara was getting uncertain of Lena’s commitment, it honestly had nothing to do with Lena, but Kara had been though the ringer, every time she said "no" was another time Lena could leave her. That was the last thing she wanted. She didn’t want to lose Lena, she couldn’t lose Lena.

She had made up her mind she was going to go through with it, even if she didn’t want to. She knew Lena wanted to and that was all that matter in her mind.

Kara had saved up money just for this occasion, she took Lena to one of her favorite restaurants. They talk about whatever came to mind, Lena’s new project, Kara’s new reporting jobs. They had made their way back to Lena’s penthouse.

“Care for a nightcap?” Lena asked already heading to her alcohol cabinet.

“I would love it.” Kara said smiling, she knew this song and dance. Lena would offer her alcohol, mostly wine, they would sit together and talk and then Lena would make the move, it would start off slow and then start to pick up the more Kara smiled into the kisses.

“Kara, I need to say something.” Lena said after only one sip. Kara bit her lip normally Lena would finish at least one glass, and she started with a kiss. “You know I love you.” She started.

Kara looked down, it sounded like Lena was braking up with Kara.

Her thoughts where cut off when Lena’s hand reached under Kara’s chin and make her look at her. “I love you with all my heart. I have never loved anyone before the way I love you.” She said looking deep into Kara’s eyes. Kara’s excretion changed, she was hesitant at first but now she couldn’t be happier. “Which is why I need to know when and if I go too far.”

Kara want to yell at herself. Lena had been so patient let Kara take as long as she needed, but here she was blaming herself. Kara didn’t let Lena go any farther. She practically jumped Lena with a kiss.

“I want you.” Kara said, she had heard that line so many times before on all the shows her and Alex watched as kids.

Lena used her thumb to genially brush Kara’s cheek. “You can have me if you want.” She said.

Kara smiled back at Lena, before picking her up and carrying her to the bedroom. “Is this okay?” she asked setting Lena down on her bed.

“It’s more that okay.” Lena said giving Kara the encouragement she needed.

Kara smiled, she wasn’t used to being on top, all the guys she had been with where always on the top. She didn’t know what to do, she tried what she knew. Gently reaching up she cupped Lena’s breast. Lena smiled and let out a soft moan. Kara smiled and slowly started to undo Lena’s shirt.

“Am I doing this right?” Kara asked, unsure on who to make Lena feel good.

“Yes, so right.” Lena said trying to hold back a moan.

Kara lend down and started kissing Lena neck. She moved down to her collarbone and farther down to the valley between her breasts. Kara loved Lena’s skin, it was the prefect shade of ivory, and kissing down it only made her love it more, every breath Lena took her skin expanded giving Kara more to kiss. Every shiver sent goosebumps all over, tickling Kara lips.

“Kar…Kara wait.” Lena breathed out.

Kara almost jumped off her. “What’s wrong? Did…Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you?” her questions come out in one breath.

Lena smiled and shook her head. “No. No darling I’m okay, I just don’t want to be the only one getting pleasure.” She said sitting up and moving to kiss Kara’s neck, the same way Kara had kissed hers.

“Oh.” Kara squeaked. “You don’t have to do that.” Kara said getting that uncomfortable feeling back.

“I know, but I want to.” Lena said slyly leaning down kissing Kara neck, making sure to suck on a vein that stuck out.

“R…right, you want to.” Kara said wrapping her arms around Lena and holding her close. Lena was doing something she wanted to do. Wanted to? That was something Kara wasn’t used to. She didn’t want to leave her plant. She didn’t want to live with strangers. She didn’t want to hide herself and history. And right now, she didn’t want to have sex.

But just like all thoughts times before, she didn’t say anything. She knew Lena wanted her, and from what she learned it was something two people did when they loved each other. Love. It was then when Kara old mantra started repeating in her head.

_This time is different._

_You love her._

_You can do this._

She tried, she really did. But there was no fooling Lena. Kara had let out a breath, her voice cracks and the breath got stuck in her throat, as Lena was kissing her neck it was hard to miss.

Lena stopped as soon as she thought something was wrong, but one look at Kara as a single tear rolled down her cheek and it told her she didn’t stop soon enough.

“Kara?” Lena said sitting up to meet Kara face. “Kara talk to me.” She said brushed away the tear.

“I’m sorry.” Kara said pulling back as more tears fell. “I tried. I tried.” She said balling up her first and whipping away the tears.

“Kara, it’s okay just breath.” Lena said trying to help Kara calm down.

Kara shook her head. “NO! No, it not. I love you Lena. I really do. I just wanted… I know you wanted… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Kara cried more.

Lena was at a loss for words. One second, she thought everything was going fine, and then the next Kara was crying in her bed apologizing over and over again. She did the only thing she could think of, she wrapped her arms around Kara and held her as tight as she could.

Kara’s breath stopped, Lena was putting all her strength into her hug, to a human it would have been crushing but to Kara it was just what she needed.

When Kara had managed to calm down Lena took her to the kitchen for a glass of water.

Kara slow sipped and sneaked glances waiting for Lena to ask her questions.

“Well.” Lena broke the silence. “My first question is why did you let me go so far?”

Kara looked up confused. “We didn’t go far.” She answered.

Lena poured herself a glass of wine, the same wine they had been drinking before they went to the bed room. “We went too far.” Lena said, she knew Kara blamed herself and that was something she was not okay with.

Kara sighed. “I didn’t want you to leave me.” She answered.

“Leave you? Kara I could never leave you.” Lena said reaching out and holding Kara’s hand.

Kara whipped away the tears that almost leaked form her eyes. “Every time I said no they leave.”

“They?” Lena asked before Kara had a chance to say anything more.

“The people I had been with before.” She answered.

Lena sighed and took a drink from her wine. Kara knew what that meant, Lena only sighed before drinking when she was upset. Up until now Kara had only see that when Lena was upset about L-corps publicity or an invention, Kara had never been on the reserving end of it.

“I’m sorry.” Kara said.

Lena shook her head. “I’m not mad at you.” She said before taking a breath and turning more comforting to Kara. “Kara you know I would never make you do something you don’t want to.”

Kara nodded. “I know but I just…”

Lena interrupted her. “No buts. Kara I never want you to feel like you have to do something in order to please me.”

Kara nodded. “It’s just, I’ve always thought that was the way people showed their love on earth.” Lena nodded this time understanding why Kara was so adamant to let her do what she wanted. “When I first came here I talked to Alex about it and she told me that it was like the finally thing you could do for a person to show you love.”

Lena spook up before Kara when any farther. “Kara have you hear of being Asexual?” she asked.

Kara nodded but looked confused at Lena. “Yeah, but I don’t know how plants have anything to do with this.”

Lena smiled. “No Kara, you know of the different sexuality’s that humans have, right?” she asked.

“Yeah, how James is straight therefor he likes the opposite gender, and Alex is gay, so she likes the same gender and Winn is Bi, so he likes both genders.” Kara smiled listing them off.

“Yes, though are examples but there is more sexuality then just that.” Lena said moving closer to Kara.

Kara looked more confused than she had been. “There are? Why do humans need to label everything?  On Krypton people like who they liked.”

Lena smiled and gently brushed some hair away from Kara’s face. “Well you did say Krypton was more advanced. Why don’t you use that reporting skills and find out about Asexuality.” Lena said standing up and taking the wine glass and wine bottle with her.

Kara stood up with her. “Wait!” she yelled and then retreated to her meek ways. “Are you… Are you braking up with me?” she asked hastily.

Lena smiled and set the glasses down in the sink before walking back to Kara and cupping her face. “No, I’m just saying that maybe you need to do some research before we go any farther.” She said before gently kissing Kara.

Kara lend into Lena hands. “So, are we still together?” she asked afraid to know the answer.

Lena smiled. “Of course, I don’t see any reason why not.” She said heading back to the sink to clean the dishes. “How about you do your research and then we can talk about it over Lunch tomorrow, I can pick up around 1:00.” She said.

Kara hesitated, she had made plans with other people that had stood her up after she said “no” she said suddenly before clearing her throat “Um, actually can I pick you up at L-Corp?” she asked, this was her test, if Lena truly still wanted to be with her than she would have no objections to it.

Lena turned to face Kara and smiled. “Of course, if that works better for you.”

* * *

Kara headed to her apartment, no stops nothing could distract her from what she needed to do. She pulled out her laptop and was ready to work. Only she didn’t know what to look for, her fingers floated over the keys unsure of what to type. Lena told her Asexuality but if she looked up that than she would get nothing but plants, but then she remembered Lena compared it to other sexuality’s like Gay and Bi, so maybe putting the phrase LGBT before would work.

And it did.

There was addresses for youth centers, numbers for suicide prevention, and even a list of bars to go to. Kara clicked on a link that lead her to a kind of Wikipedia style website about sexuality, Kara found the mark about Asexuality and followed the thread down. She clicked on link after link to find out everything she could, she didn’t realize she had worked thought the night. Until Alex had let herself in carrying two cups of coffee.

“Hey, I knocked like five times.” She said setting down the cup next to Kara’s laptop.

“Of sorry I didn’t hear you.” Kara said not taking her eyes off her laptop.

Alex sat down next to her. “Snapper have you doing some late night, early morning thing?” she asked.

Her questioned had managed to snap Kara into attention. “What? Oh, no. No, it’s nothing.” She said closed her computer faster than would be normally.

“Okay.” Alex said dragging out the letter O.

“Hey, um what are you doing here so early?’ she asked pushing the laptop away from her.

Alex took a quick look at the clock on the wall. “Um, it’s like noon.” She said pointing at the clock with her thumb.

Kara’s eyes followed the direction. The clock read 12:45. “Crap.” Kara said, rushing out to her room to change. “I’m supposed to meet Lena in 15 minutes.” She said before Alex could ask a question.

“So, you day is busy uh?” Alex asked opening Kara’s laptop to see what she was looking at.

“Yeah, sorry to coffee and dash.” She said before taking her laptop out of Alex’s hand before rushing out of the apartment.

“You’re welcome!” Alex yelled after her, for the coffee she bought.

* * *

The clock hit 1:30. Lena was never one to care that Kara was late, she knew Kara had a busy life, Supergirl, and Reporting kept her busy, but for some reason now she couldn’t stop fidgeting.

What if Kara did her research and decided she didn’t want Lena anymore? What if Kara did the Research and found someone who could understand her better and left Lena?

There was a loud crash just outside of her office and then the door opened. It was Kara, red faced and cloths dishevel, she was holding a fast food bag in her hand and drinks in the other.

“I am so sorry.” Kara said. Lena didn’t know if she was talking to her for being late or Jess for whatever mess she had made in the other room.

“Just in time I was getting hungry.” Lena said deciding to let Kara off the hook for being late.

Kara smiled and looked down as she put all the food on that table. “Sorry I was looking it up, like you told me to and I guess I lost track of time.”

“Its fine, I’m just glad you’re here.” Lena said sitting down on the couch next to Kara.

Kara’s head shot up confused. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Lena shook her head. “It’s nothing I was just starting to get worried.”

Kara to a breath and tried to sort out her thoughts. “So… I looked it up.” She started. “And I think I am it.”

Lena smiled, Kara was embarrassed so much so that she couldn’t even say the word. “Are what exactly?” she asked trying to push Kara to fully admit it to herself.

“I’m Asexual.” Kara said suddenly feeling like Fort Ross had been lifted off her shoulders.

Lena gently cupped Kara’s cheek. “I’m proud of you.”

“It feels so good to know I’m not alone.” Kara said. “Until you told me that was an English word for it I thought it was another thing that made me more ‘alien’.”

“I glad I could help.” Lena smiled.

“Help? Lena, I own you everything.” Kara said, it was a positive statement, but her tone told another story. Kara stood up and turned her back to Lena. “You’ve help me though everything. You didn’t hate me when I lied to you about being Supergirl, and now you don’t hate me for not…” Kara stop unable to being herself to say it.

“For not what, Kara.” Lena said sternly, using the tone she only used for people in her board meetings that wouldn’t take the hint. 

Kara gave in. “For not being able to love you back.” She said turning to face Lena, Lena could see the tears in Kara’s eyes. She could see Kara still loved her, and she could see Kara was thinking of Lena.

Lena relaxed. “Kara, I don’t need sex.” Lena said dropping her forceful tone. “Kara you mean so much more to me than just sex.”

“But what if. What if you change your mind? What if you get tired of me? What if…” Kara said in one breath. Only to be interrupted by Lena.

“Kara!” Lena yelled stopping Kara in her tracks. “I’m not going to get tired of you.”

“But…But…” Kara studded.

“Kara, when have you even known me to change my mind?” Lena asked, Kara closed her mouth unable to answer. “And when have you even known me to be wrong?” she asked smiling and stepping closer to Kara. Kara looked down still unable to answer Lena. “Kara, I love you and I will continue to love you. Finding out that you are Asexual does not change my mind in the slightest.”

Kara finally looked up to meet Lena’s eyes. Lena cupped Kara’s cheek.  Kara’s hand moved up to hold Lena’s. “I love you, but I don’t know how to show it to you.”

“How about, bring me lunch when I forget.” Lena said, smiled. “How about, defending me when no one else will. How about, holding me when we watch movies and shows. How about eating healthy food even though you don’t have to just because I do. How about going out of you way to find new restaurants that you think I would like. How about doing everything you have been doing.” She said her head resting her forehead on Kara’s.

“Is that enough?” Kara asked, her eyes switching form looking at the ground and back to Lena.

“It is more than enough.” Lena said before pulling Kara close and kissing her.

They spent the rest of lunch time talking about Asexuality. How it would affect their relationship, spoiler alert, it didn’t. Kara told her maybe wasn’t that her alien body couldn’t handle it but maybe it was the culture she was raise in. Lena smiled and nodded along, she recommended maybe Kara should go to a LGBT center and talk to other people, and maybe understand their stories. Kara was all too excited and pulled up one on her phone. The lunch was cut short by Jess reminding Lena she had a meeting and Alex calling form the D.E.O.

The meeting was boring and the problem at the D.E.O was just an alien who could speak English.

* * *

Kara know Lena would be at work until dinner time, so she used her free time to check out the LGBT center she heard about.

“Little Danvers?” Maggie called out form the other side of the center.

“Maggie?” Kara asked just as confused each out was there.

“Didn’t expect to see you here.” Maggie said walking up to her. “Is it for an article?”  

Kara chuckled nervously. “No, um you see I did some self-searching and I was hoping to find out more.”

Maggie smiled. “Hey, it’s never too late to find out more of yourself.”

“So, what are you doing here?” Kara asked trying to get the spotlight off her.

“I volunteer here when I can. I figure if people see a police officer that’s like them, maybe they’ll hesitate when I comes to the whole riot stuff.” Maggie said smiling and brushing her figures over her badge. “So, what do you need maybe I can help?”

Kara was surprised, she wasn’t expecting anyone she knew to be here. “Oh, um… what do you know about asexuality?” she said fiddling with her hand like she didn’t want to ask.

Maggie smiled, easing Kara’s nerves. “Well I know that there are levels to it.”

“Levels?” Kara asked, in all her research she had never heard that one before.

“Yeah, like some people only have sex with someone they love, other never have sex, and I read one story that the person only had sex with people they didn’t love.” Maggie said. “Have you told Alex?”

Kara’s mind was working out the levels Maggie said, she had almost missed her question. “Oh. No, not yet. I just found out about it myself.”

“Hey, it’s cool, no pressure.” Maggie said sounding like a teenager, before she cleared her throat. “Sorry have to talk to a lot of teenagers throughout the day.”

“It’s okay, tonight is sister night, so I might tell her tonight.” Kara said looking down still unsure of herself.

Thankfully Maggie saw this. “Hey, we have groups people get together and just talk, Aces are on Thursday if you want to stop by.” She said patting her shoulder.

“I will, thanks Maggie.” Kara said.

Maggie nodded. “And if you ever need anything else just call.” Kara nodded and smiled, Alex and Maggie had rough patches, so of course Kara sided with Alex, but Maggie always stayed to work it out, and over the years it was like Kara now had two sisters. 

* * *

Sister night was nothing new, loaded on food, and beer for Alex, with a new Netflix show to watch. But this night Kara was beyond nervous, she wanted to tell Alex but she herself had just found out about it and she was still doing research herself. 

“Is something wrong?” Alex asked her after she noticed Kara hadn’t touched the pile of pizza. “I have dumplings in the freezer if you’re that bummed out.” Alex said thinking it was the fact that Kara’s favor takeout dumpling place was closed due to renovations.

“No, it’s not that.” Kara said trying to work up the nervous.

“Than what’s wrong?” Alex asked sitting down next to Kara on her couch.

Like a bandage, Kara through, just rip it off. “I’m Asexual.” She said almost yelling.

Alex smiled and laughed. “No, you’re not.” She stated.

Kara looked up confused, Alex had just flat out denied her that.

“Kara not one knows more about kryptonian’s physiology then me, I know your people used a codex, but your bodies didn’t have the chance to evolve pass it, you can still have children just like a human.” Alex said smiling, thinking she was helping.

“What?” Kara said confused, they were talking about two different things.

“Yeah, I’ve done more than enough research, but I never found out if Human sperm would work. I mean you started dating Lena, so I stop looking in to it.” Alex said, about it go into her science rant mode.

“No, wait Alex not the kind of Asexual.” Kara said.

Alex brows furrowed. “What kind of Asexual?” she asked wonder what other kinds there where.

“It means I don’t want to have sex, like ever.” She said.

Alex’s look of confusion turned into a pained smile. “Kara don’t think like that; You and Lena are just going through a rough patch.”

Kara looked up at Alex horrified. “No. No.” she said shaking her head. “It’s not that, everybody I’ve been with its never worked out and I realize it me, I just don’t want to.” She tried to explain.

“Kara it’s okay, now that you found Lena you can give it a chance.” Alex said, thinking she was helping.

“No!” Kara yelled, “I don’t want to. It has nothing to do with Lena. Its me.”

“Easy, Kara I’m just trying to understand.” Alex said putting her hands up defensively.

Kara shook her head. “But that’s just it you’re not. Your trying to change me!” her tone getting louder.

“Kara I just don’t understand how someone can love someone and not want sex!”  Alex yelled matching her tone.

Kara’s heart shattered. Alex, her sister, the only who understood her, shatter everything, every bit of courage she had built up, every ounce of research she had done, every heartwarming word Lena had spoken to her was gone.

Alex saw it, the hurt in Kara’s eyes. “No wait, Kara I didn’t mean it like that.”

“But you did.” Kara whispered.

Alex was at a loss for words she wanted to tell Kara anything, ask her about it, but her mouth didn’t move she didn’t make a sound. Kara turned her back and walked out of Alex’s apartment without another word.

* * *

Kara didn’t go home,  Alex would go after her. She went to Lena’s penthouse.

A soft knock on the door, Lena would have missed it if she wasn’t in her living room with the T.V off.

“Kara? Did we have a dinner date?” she asked, before she saw Kara’s eyes red with tears. “What’s wrong?” Lena quickly pulled Kara into her penthouse and into a tight hug.

“Alex…” was all Kara had managed to say.

Lena was on red alert, she grabbed Kara by the shoulder too look at her. “What happened is she okay? Is she hurt?” she asked

Kara shook her head. “I told her.” Kara said whipped the tears out of her eyes.

“She didn’t take it well?” Lena asked, still holding on to Kara’s hand almost like a tether for her.

Kara shook her head before responding. “She told me it didn’t make since, she told me she couldn’t understand who I could say I love you but not ‘love’ you.” She said, regretting that she had to remember her sister’s harsh words.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you.” Lena said holding her tight.

“Do you feel that way?” Kara asked, muffled by Lena’s shoulder, as she bared face into it.

“Of course not. Kara, I know how much you love me, and love had nothing to do with sex.” Lena said.

“But Alex said it has everything to do with sex?” Kara said confused how the two people she loved the most can have such different response to the same thing.

“That’s Alex’s problem, you said it yourself she had a hard time excepting she was gay, maybe she just needs time to understand you.” Lena offered.

Kara’s train of thought was interrupted by her phone vibrating. It was a text form Maggie.

 _‘LD Alex just told me what happened I’ll talk to her but know this has nothing to do with you your valid.’_ It read.

Valid that was a word Kara read a lot in her research, but it never carried any weighted. Valid or course people are valid, they have lives and families and homes. But reading the text from Maggie it had a different meaning a meaning she never thought of. Valid, she was valid for getting upset at Alex, she was valid for running to Lena, but most of all she was valid for her feelings on sex.

“What is it?” Lena asked, not wanted to invade Kara’s privately by looking at her phone.

“It’s from my other sister.” Kara said showing the text to Lena.

Lena quickly read it and smiled. “See you’re not alone.” She said.

“Yeah, hey how about we get dinner and cuddle?” Kara asked only to regret it a second later. “I mean if you didn’t have plans or I’m being too much of a bother.” She said quickly

Lena shook her head. “Not at all, I would love to.

 


End file.
